Embracing Accountability: My Journey To Overcome Consumerism
Taylor Swift's Anti-Hero has been my anthem this month. Specifically because of the lyric "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me". This phrase has been on repeat in my head as a reminder that I am the problem when it comes to accumulating stuff.
Historically I have played the blame game. Pointing fingers at everyone else for why I continue to declutter year after year, never resolving the root cause. I blame it on kids getting too many gifts from others or having a handyman husband who keeps left over supplies to be frugal. I ignore my issue with searching Facebook for free items, thrift store shopping, and going to garage sales. If I focus on everyone else I don't have to change my behavior. That is shifting with my no spend year, it is time to focus on me as the problem.
I had two experiences this month that made me recognize my addictive thoughts and behaviors around accumulating stuff. Forcing me to acknowledge that "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me."
First, we had an early birthday celebration for my daughter and family members whose birthdays are in March and April. My 3 year old received multiple gifts; practical and toys. One gift my nephew received was a Paw Patrol toy that my daughter was interested in (probably because it wasn't hers). But my thoughts instantly went to " I need to look on Facebook Marketplace for Paw Patrol toys, we need to get her a toy for her birthday." Even though my husband and I had already decided we weren't going to buy her a gift and take the family swimming for her birthday instead.
We knew she would be ecstatic to go swimming because we haven't been able to go since this summer. Yet, I was online in minutes looking for a toy she showed interest in thinking I am a bad mom for not buying her a toy for her birthday. Luckily, I recognized my thoughts and reached out for support to challenge them. I continued to fight with myself for the next few days. I compromised with the solution of exchanging a duplicate gift she received for a Paw Patrol toy. But, it didn't end there. Instead my thoughts switched to needing MORE Paw Patrol toys! One wasn't enough, she needed the rest of the Paw Patrol gang.
I was back online. After spending more time then I would like to admit searching for toys, it hit me, I'm the problem. My daughter never asked for Paw Patrol toys. She was content with what she had, I was the one acting out of the scarcity mindset. She is 3, she is happy with simple things. Whenever we asked her what she wanted for her birthday her reply was "Letters". I did an experiment to see if it was just me thinking she needed a toy or if she wanted more. To do this I asked her if she wanted Paw Patrol toys for her birthday, she said yes... and letters. The next week I asked her everyday what she wanted for her birthday, with her answer only being letters. There was no mention of Paw Patrol toys, only if I brought it up. Confirming the issue was me.
The second situation was when I bought shirts for working from home. Like most people, once I started working form home I stopped dressing up. I realized I needed a few long sleeve shirts to get me through the winter that weren't hooded sweatshirts. I was frugal with my purchase, but it triggered my addictive thoughts. Instead of being content with what I just purchased, I started looking at all areas of my closet, thinking I need more. It took about a week for the urge to keep shopping for more clothes to go away. I had to stay vigilant with my thoughts and redirect them to focus on what I do have vs what I don't have.
1 Timothy 6:7-8 is a good reminder of this "For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.". We have what we need, and more, to survive and thrive. My daughter doesn't need more Paw Patrol toys, I don't need more clothes. Having a full closet, or all the latest toys doesn't bring lasting happiness. We have to find appreciation and contentment with what we have to avoid the consumerism cycle. I am doing this by acknowledging I am the problem and changing my thoughts and behaviors that trap me in the cycle.
What area of your life do you need to admit that you're the problem so that change can start happening?